We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
