I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
