windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So many bounce houses so little time
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
