glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
