I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
