in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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