shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
