He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
