You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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