He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
