okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
