ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
