: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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