well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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