i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
