Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
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Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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