shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
