Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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