Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
