I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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