I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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