YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
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I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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