I'm lost and stupid without you.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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