# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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