Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize