I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He kissed a someone with a penis
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize