id be glad to
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
