OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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