Sry I called you an 8
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i was born a porn star she said
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
