Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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