tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Alive.
So much puke
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize