Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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