i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
