I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
