so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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