im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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