We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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