At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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