Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
