No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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