I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
