If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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