you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
