white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
