Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
nutella sex= disaster
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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