if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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