Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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