i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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