Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
