the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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