you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
