Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
