So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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