I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
