when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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