Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  True but thats because hes a fetus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212) True but thats because hes a fetus. http://tfl.nu/yw68
  Replies (6) Good night (726) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs? http://tfl.nu/k19f
  Replies (20) Good night (6163) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina? http://tfl.nu/mzx1
  Replies (47) Good night (758) Bad night (6199)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Oh no, it isn't official until she poops. http://tfl.nu/gc75
  Replies (20) Good night (860) Bad night (3601)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate. http://tfl.nu/nm6j
  Replies (16) Good night (4599) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed? http://tfl.nu/66dn
  Replies (15) Good night (963) Bad night (6693)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up. http://tfl.nu/ll85
  Replies (7) Good night (6151) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them. http://tfl.nu/kwke
  Replies (12) Good night (5309) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers. http://tfl.nu/hlo3
  Replies (6) Good night (2388) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  The strip club called, they have your shoe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): The strip club called, they have your shoe. http://tfl.nu/kbp6
  Replies (13) Good night (3876) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick. http://tfl.nu/p5hu
  Replies (22) Good night (3858) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm. http://tfl.nu/84qt
  Replies (4) Good night (2158) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell http://tfl.nu/6kpc
  Replies (6) Good night (668) Bad night (1486)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving http://tfl.nu/6fed
  Replies (5) Good night (454) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated http://tfl.nu/v9oe
  Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (882)

Randomize