I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
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Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
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We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?