ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen