It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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