I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Text me some of your sweat
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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