I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
