The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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