is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
