I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
