dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
