Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
